Farewell Leftie Bestie
1.
LB is the breast I lost in my unilateral mastectomy on March 6. 2024. Rightie Tightie (RT) is the remaining (smaller) breast. Since the day before surgery, I wrote letters/odes to Leftie Bestie on FaceBook which I transferred here to Substack.
Newtown, March 5, 2024.
Dear Leftie Bestie,
Tomorrow I must say goodbye to you. Yes, alas, the cancer of bygone days has returned and you must be sacrificed for the greater good.
I want you to know you LB were always my favourite. You have served me well, and given me and others (who may well be reading this) much pleasure over the years. You have suckled two babies who have gone on to suckle their own (well, not my son, but you know what I mean), so you could say that the five little grandchildren running around now, exist thanks to you.
You have always been there LB—through thick and thin — through polyester, spandex, cotton, linen and rayon eras, you have endured tortuous underwires, too-tight sports bras and disappointing bamboo numbers that promise all and give nothing but discomfort in return.
You have exposed yourself in cabaret shows and random drive-bys, on topless and nude beaches where perverts lurked to get a look.
As my faithful companion you have flipped and flopped your way across the world, been admired in a hot stone bath in Bhutan, been spied on in an outdoor mandi in Bali and groped by Federales in Mexico City. And you’ve taken it all in your stride and never once complained.
I’ll miss you LB, I’m sorry you have to go, but it’s you or the rest of us. Don’t worry, we’ll still have the memories… like that 1970s day on a beach near the Twelve Apostles (there were still 12 then!) when I ripped off my top and ran half naked into the glorious wild winds of the southern oceans, catching the sharp chill and thrill of Antarctica on your bare skin. Goodbye Leftie Bestie. Be strong, go well, dear LB, go well…
Follow my Leftie Bestie episodes to find out how after my mastectomy instead of opting for chemo and radiotherapy, I sought the advice of cancer adviser and advocate Grace Gawler, and travelled to Japan for AIET, a non invasive immune boosting therapy. Thank you to all who contributed to my cancer fundraiser and helped me achieve my current cancer free result.